I seem to have become infected with Bloginitis, which has caused me to have a severe blogging blockage. Part of this, I think, stemmed from not taking any pictures of our Christmas morning. I felt it was more important to video tape our Christmas morning this year, so no still pictures were taken, and since no still pictures were taken, I didn't feel the need to post anything about it. For some reason, I don't really enjoy blogging about anything unless I can pin a picture up with my words, so I used that as an excuse to not blog about Christmas (lame, I know.) That argument really doesn't work, though, for Jordyn's birthday party, at which I took a few pictures and so did my dad, so I guess I will have to get those posted soon. A few weeks after the new year, I decided to take pictures of the things the kids got for Christmas. What could be better than pictures of my kids actually using the things they unwrapped, instead of pictures of them holding up boxes? However, even though I had pictures sitting on my camera waiting to be uploaded, I still decided I didn't want to take the time to blog them. I had two weeks off of work for the Christmas holiday, and I just didn't want to sit down and blog. I could do that when I got back to work. I've been back to work for two weeks, and obviously, nothing happened.
Okay, enough of my excuses. I have had a few blessings/experiences over the last month that I feel are very important lessons that I need to share, and that is the main reason I decided I couldn't wait to blog anymore. I just have to share these things.
First of all, about a month ago one of my bosses told me he needed to talk to me in his office. I was a little nervous. I hadn't been hiding (very well) the fact that I didn't have a lot of things to do at work, and I was afraid my boss had finally heard about it and would think me ungrateful. Over the past 6 months, I had applied for 3 other jobs at ISU that paid more money, one of which I got interviewed for (but didn't get), and I was afraid that word had gotten around that I was trying to leave. My intentions were good: I have been stressing a lot about money and since I am bringing in the only income right now, and I was practically sitting at work all day doing nothing, I felt I should look into another job that would pay more and also give me more work to do so I would feel like I was deserving what I was being paid. I was thinking about these things when I sat down across from my boss. He started out telling me that I need not be worried (I don't know if I looked it) and that he had good news for me. One of the other secretaries had decided she wanted to lighten her work load, and my boss wanted to know if I would be willing to learn and take on the responsibilities she didn't want to do anymore. He said it would mean quite a bit more work for me, but that didn't bother me at all because I was bored out of my mind 80% of the time at work already. That simple fact was enough to fill me with joy..I get to start doing more work! YAY
On the flip side of things, we learned over Christmas break that Jared's financial aid had been denied for the spring semester because he failed one class. I was confused, because my past experience made me think that as long as he passed 12 credits (which he did, he passed 12 out of 15 credits last semester) that he should be okay. We quickly learned that wasn't the case, and in my haste to make sure that we had financial aid for the semester ( we needed it to pay for Jared's fees and books, but also for our rent, our child care and our car payment) we filled out the necessary appeal paperwork to get his financial aid reinstated without really giving a good reason as to why Jared failed the one class. I was 100% sure that his appeal would be approved and that we would get his financial aid soon. After all, he has good academic standing and isn't a chronic academic failure, so what reason would they have to deny him? Yet, one week after we turned in the appeal, we got an email saying that the appeal had been denied because there was no extenuating circumstantial reason that he should have failed that class. Jared could either go for one semester without financial aid and then re-appeal in the fall or he could meet with the appeals committee to overturn their decision. I was devastated. I was so sure we would be okay. I counted on that money being there because without it, we can't pay our rent, our car payment or our daycare. Surely the financial aid office must know that, they MUST! But because I didn't bother to put that in the appeal form in any way, how could they have known that? I just sat at my desk and cried. Jared came to see me at work and I told him about the email and he said, "We knew this could happen" but I had convinced myself it wouldn't happen. I didn't know what we were going to do. Our only hope was to get a good tax return this year, enough to pay our bills until the fall semester, but I knew now we couldn't count on our tax return to be big enough to cover all our bills, and what were we going to do for all of our bills due in January and the beginning of February? Plus, our baby is on the way and we may not have the money we need to pay for expenses when she comes. I felt lost. I felt ashamed. I felt stupid. I cried for days.
Thankfully, I had some family who had recently received their own financial aid and could help us pay Jared's fees so that he could go to school, and we have also had help paying our bills for this month. Family really, truly, is a blessing. I don't think anyone in our family would have left us out to dry, and they have sacrificed their own financial safety to help us get along for now. Jared is going to meet with the appeals committee next week in the hopes that they will overturn their decision, but I know now that, even if they deny us again, somehow, everything will be okay. The dreams I had of paying off debt with our tax return will have to wait, and they can, as long as Jared can continue his education and we can pay our bills. Lesson #2 learned...don't count on money for anything...ANYTHING, no matter how sure you are. Blessings come in familiar and unfamiliar packages, and even though I was tempted to feel like I had been cheated (receiving good news at work and then bad news on the money front), I knew better than that. I had better not be ungrateful, and I'm not. Everything happens for a reason.
Well, I think this post is long enough for now. Good news though, I have a few pictures to put in!
December was cake making time. Happy Birthday, Jared!
Happy Birthday, Jordyn!
